To Want

I really like how you two have started these posts with a "want" hue, because im working on wanting my wants right now. Somewhere this past year I disengaged myself with a lot of mine, mostly because I I think I subconsciously needed to purify them. I am working on getting them back in an ordered fashion, with ends that fulfill my true needs and desires, and not some unhealthy imitation of my parent's, friend's, or x-boyfriend's desires of what I should be or want.

-I want to experience beauty daily, through music, writings, film, (just watched Elizabeth last night - great film, as well as Bright Star - also breathtaking). 

-I want to find someone to love who will love me back for the things the world would never recognize. 

-I want to experience things that scare me, because that means growth, and breaking routines. 

-I want to find my mission = where my total gladness and the world's great needs converge.

-I want to move out, i will move out, destination TBD. 

-I want to be the kind of person who everyone knows will always be brutally honest with them, while not making them feel any less loved. 

-I want to spend my days so intentionally and purposefully that when my head hits the pillow at night I fall asleep within moments. 

-I want to feel the full scope of emotions, pain, heartache, exhaustion, pee your pants excitement, knees like jelly captivation, i'd dodge a bullet for you love (im beginning to realize ive grown somewhat numb, that i don't even know what else to add to the list. That needs some attention).  

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I think I need to be more grounded in real, tangible, goals that I can strive for to get me in a place where i actually feel like an adult, ha!  Most of my desires are for these ineffable experiences, but I think many of these would arrive if I just got myself out of this pit of a dark suburb called Kent. Anywho - im not as miz as that just sounded, just pensive. I think i've mastered the ability to choose joy in any circumstance. I'm excited for that freedom.  God knows how to make me listen. I am learning :)

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-I want to make real tangible goals for myself that stretch me toward a purposeful job, relationships, and growth.