The Daily Chuckle

Guide to Drink Orders:

Nothing impresses the lads and ladies at the local watering hole more than a classy drink order like they may have seen on the television or a rich person’s T-shirt. Here are some drink orders that are sure to impress the publodytes the next time you’re on the town:

Straight Up: This classy order tells the bartender you aren’t kidding around. You want your drink served in a glass that’s pointing straight up. None of this almost-upside-down junk. Just remember: perpendicular to the bar—you’re drinkin' like a star.

Neat: This means you want the drink you ordered not to be boring, but neat. The bartender will usually add a pint of fruit juice and a copy of Reader's Digest to drinks ordered this way.

On the Rocks: This drink is for tough guys or gals who want the bartender to argue with them about their drink order as if they are in an on-the-rocks marriage. People do this mostly to practice fighting or pretend they aren’t alone.

Shaken, Not Stirred: This is a great drink order for when you want to embarrass everyone you are with.
Dirty: You want your drink to be a fancy old bottle of wine from the dusty, dirty wine cellar. Enjoy the wine, millionaire.

Apathy.

I hate the up and down so so much! What scares me the most now is that I have gotten so worn out from the up and down that I have felt myself lately slipping into apathy. I have never been apathetic about ANYTHING lol. I feel like the ‘I don’t give a shit’ attitude that made me fritter away a lot of junior/senior year of college is trickling into my whole life now. I can’t figure out a direction to motivate myself towards. Everything is so hard. Daily stuff is monotonous yet frustrating and infuriating beyond belief, I work a job that is an utter joke with no compensation for the daily crap that goes with it and I feel like I am spinning my wheels. Except I still keep getting older every day and my life is being lived while I watch it happen… all while being incredibly dissatisfied. Which is terrifying and disconcerting and discouraging all at once. And then recently it is like I suddenly decided in order to cope, I need to just quit overanalyzing everything. And just kind of float along. Not care about the things that happen around me because they are all disheartening and not going in the direction that I want. But I know that isn’t the way I will ever be happy living. Maybe someone else would, but I truly cannot do that. And I agree that everything is a choice. But maybe happiness is a choice in as much as you choose to seek it. I am start to think that you cannot, no matter how totally and devotedly you want it, will the happiness to exist in your life. Is that pessimistic of me? Just like you can choose to love someone, but you cannot will yourself to actually feel the love some days. Because isn’t happiness a feeling (if an intellectual type) more or less in a way? I don’t know…I ramble J The result of stumbling into work at 6:30 this morning to push not one, not two, not three, but FOUR different group’s breakfasts around 7 different floors this morning. Oh yeah, I am invaluable!

simple and true.

Haven't been quite this happy...

So, I realized I haven't been this happy in quite some time. Every time about this time of year I get in a really good mood. And I think a lot of it has to do with the holidays and people in general are in good moods. But this time it's different. Last year I was starting to talk to Adam and doing the whole Catholic Match thing and everything seemed like it was falling into place. Low and behold a few months later the rug was ripped out from under me - as it almost inevitably is. And it was that time again to pull myself up by the boot straps and get my little butt in gear... again. I was thinking alot about this time last year as I was trying to fall asleep last night and as always the general consensus was - "WOW! Time flies and I've come so far!"

As all of my friends - and even closer friends now - are arriving at these pivotal life moments I feel like I'm in either a vortex, where things seem crazy but ultimately they're only going in circles or completely sedentary and things go nowhere. But I started to enumerate all of the things that happened last year. Surprisingly, I've been through a lot more and better still gotten through a lot more than I had ever realized.

The difference between my happiness then and my happiness now is that it's completely up to me. I'm relying on nobody or nothing to be happy. I'm still learning it, but I'm at the point where I can step back, reassess and move on. I don't need a boy, a job, a car, an apt, to make me happy. As long as I stay happy those things will fall into place. And if you lose one, I/me/myself am in the position to move on. Granted everything's going smoothly at the moment and it's easy to say this. But better to remind myself now then having to tell myself when life gets shitty.

The only thing that's been constant through all of it is your friendship. Not to sound Thanksgiving corny - but I'm super blessed to have friends like you! Love you guys! Happy day before Thanksgiving!

.... perplexing....

who calls someone while they are on vacation, telling them not to fall in love at a wedding, texts them while they are working out to tell them they are stunning even when working hard, is super spontaneous and tells them to pull the car over in the parking lot just so they can give them another goodbye kiss.. then all of a sudden...

crickets... not a sound...

back pain is a sorry excuse. no answer of texts all weekend.. a delayed phone call on Sunday night is all.

people who are direct, forthright, and transparent are few and far between!!!

then again.. maybe he just looked at my Facebook somehow, and saw what groups i 'like'. Oh the conservative political think tanks and Catholic oriented groups might have threw the boy a curve. Who knows.

im your DJ.

Okay ladies. Dont forget to check in on Fridays and will give you a song to start your weekend with..

This one will start the string. It will either make you wana pop bottles...
.... or terrify you of raising teenage girls. Or both..

I finally figured out how to make a link...

Kreayshawn - Gucci Gucci

Dibs on this gem!

To quote Maryanne...I just peed.

WANTED: Holiday Girlfriend-28 (mission district)

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Let me be clear. I want a girlfriend. But, I don't really want a girlfriend.

I just want one for the holidays.

Let's recognize something. The holidays suck, especially for us single people. All of your coupled friends are going to be doing couple things: snuggling by the fire, going to dinner at each others' parents houses, blahblahbarf.

Let's recognize another thing. Deep down inside, you don't want to be alone for the holidays. You want someone to do all of those cute snuggly things with, someone to get fat and keep warm next to (let's also recognize that it's getting fucking cold here), and someone to accompany you to your friends' coupley holiday parties so they don't keep thinking you're a loser destined for permanent solo status.

But, you've spent all year working on your career / training for charity bike rides / getting drunk and haven't had the time or inclination to track down and capture a boyfriend. And even if you did, you're not really sure you'd want to keep him after the holidays are over, anyway.

The solution:
Be my girlfriend for the holidays. And only for the holidays.

How it works:
You reply with a picture and a brief bio (250 words max. To give you an idea, this posting is 499). If it seems like a good fit we'll set up a casual mini-date (coffee, beer, or whatever). If that's a success and we're both feeling it, we'll date until 11:59PM, January 2nd, 2012. After that we can still be friends (unless we hate each other, then we can downshift to the occasional drunken booty call).

The benefits:
• You have someone to keep you company on these witch-tit-cold San Francisco nights. Did I mention I'm an excellent cuddler? (I have references.)
• I like to cook. Especially for others. Nothing too fancy, but always tasty and satisfying. As long as you're an omnivore, you win.
• Having done it professionally for some years to pay for school, I know my way around a bar. Same goes for wine cellars and beer coolers. Homemade winter warmers? Done.
• Hate holiday music? Me too. Seeing as every other establishment or event you step into will be playing it, I'll spare you the excess.
• Love taking photos? Sweet. Let's wear gaudy holiday attire and make ridiculous Xmas postcards to send your friends and family. Just for the lulz.
• Worried about finding someone to kiss on New Year's Eve who doesn't look (or sound) like Sloth's cousin? Boom! Got you covered.

About Me:
28 years old, small business owner, active (cyclist, surfer, snowboarder), outgoing, easy on the eyes.
Not About You (aka Dealbreakers or, Don't Bother if You Exhibit the Following):
Heavy drug use, laziness, prudishness, still in love with old boy or girlfriend from years past (or if you secretly are, at least have the damn decency to not blab on about it).

Interested? Then send your pic and bio and get this ball rolling.

• it's NOT ok to contact this poster with services or other commercial interests

PostingID: 2703020265

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